Praise benefits the giver as well as the receiver. When someone focuses on consistently giving sincere praise to others, they are protecting themselves from a heart of ungratefulness. Romans 1:21 tells of what happens to the heart of people who are ungrateful.
…Although they knew God, they did not glorify Him as God, nor were thankful, but became futile in their thoughts, and their foolish hearts were darkened.
We see from this Scripture that the key to having a pure heart (both with God and our marriage) is to keep a continual heart of thankfulness. Genuine appreciation and thankfulness is also a good way to stay humble. People who don’t want to give others praise or appreciation are often people who like to talk and boast about themselves. Pride likes to focus on self, while humility is glad to let others have the spotlight. When we choose to consciously look for good in others and verbalize this to them, we guard our own heart from growing cold toward the person. Likewise, as we glorify and thank God, we guard our heart from growing cold toward Him and His word.
Sometimes people may be concerned about praising their spouse or other family members, wondering if this will make the other person prideful because of being edified often. In fact, some people even purposefully insult others or even laugh when their children insult each other, thinking it will keep them humble or callous them to better handle the “real world.” This is actually an attack of the devil, intended to greatly damage and destroy a spouse or child’s confidence.
Satan knows if he succeeds in destroying a person’s confidence through those who supposedly love them the most, it will cause the adult or child to feel inferior and inadequate to accomplish what God has called them to do. This will often steal their God-given destiny from being fulfilled. Anyone who has been greatly successful in life will tell us that a person still gets much farther ahead in the “real world” through praising others than by criticizing.
When edification is done in the right way, which includes encouraging and building a person up for who God made them to be, pride should not become a factor in a person’s life. In fact, edification should even bring humility when a person is complimented for who he or she is in Christ.
A good example of this used to happen to Amy in her childhood. Whenever someone would compliment her appearance as a little girl, her mother would immediately respond by saying to the person, “Thank you! And what’s most important is that she’s just as pretty on the inside!” Because of this, Amy grew up with the mindset of knowing that being kind to people was of utmost importance. Her mother wanted her to grow up knowing a kind personality is more important than looks. When a parent gives a child compliments on their kindness toward others, the child will make even more effort to be this way!
The Bible admonished us of the importance of building one another up in 1 Thessalonians 5:11, which states, “Therefore comfort [encourage] each other and edify one another…” Interestingly, the original word translated as edify here actually means “to be a house builder, to construct, confirm, build up and embolden” (Strong’s #3618). This is profound! When we edify and encourage those of our household, we are being a house builder! With our words of edification and praise, we are inspiring them to go forth in courage and become all God have called them to be! As we edify those we love, we actually construct a foundation in them and with them that will endure the test of time and trials!
With love,
Shaun & Amy
