During our prayer time we thank God for His goodness and we also make our requests to God with thanks. (See Philippians 4:6.) Daily prayer together should most often be a time of joy and praise, which builds an atmosphere of peace in our home.

There are several suggestions we make for couple prayer time. We recommend making time together in the morning if at all possible. Praying together while still snuggled in bed is wonderful because it bonds you spiritually as well as meeting each other’s need for affection. 

Another possibility is to take a walk together holding hands and praying. It will set you both on the same page when you communicate throughout the day, as well as when obstacles may arise. If morning isn’t feasible, we encourage you to pray together as soon as you can.

We also recommend that husband and wife each take turns, going back and forth praying for anything that comes up in your hearts. Some of the things we typically cover in our prayer times are:

• Gratitude for things that come to mind
• Prayer for each other’s day
• Prayer for the family’s protection and wisdom
• Prayer for extended family
• Prayer for those in authority and leadership: President, nation, military, pastor, and employer
• Prayer for our church and the marriages God puts on our heart

There are some alerts we do want to give you about couple prayer. First, remember not to criticize each other! We once had a couple say to us, “This prayer together thing just doesn’t work.” When we probed as to why, we found out they ended up fighting like cats and dogs every time because they would pray for the other one to grow up or change in whatever areas they felt they didn’t measure up! Correction is not the goal here, friends! We should leave our prayer time together feeling encouraged and built-up!

Second, remember to edify each other’s families in prayer. Prayer for one another’s extended family should be done oozing with kindness and love. When we pray for our spouse’s family in a positive way, thanking God to help them and meet their needs, we will begin to look at our spouse’s family as our own. Pray blessing upon them, even if they are difficult! When this happens and your spouse hears you valuing their family, it builds trust.

Third, know sometimes couples feel awkward when they first begin to pray together. It’s like learning to ride a bicycle when you were a kid. Sometimes it was difficult to get up and moving, but you eventually learned to balance and maybe even impress the other neighbor kids with some stunts! This is how it’s supposed to be with unified prayer (okay, maybe not the stunt part). Just remember, don’t give up! Practice for short periods of time and be patient with each another!

As we learn to pray together, we will grow in God’s kind of love. 1 Corinthians 13:5 states, “[Love] does not behave rudely, does not seek its own, is not provoked, thinks no evil…” Paraphrased, this basically means, none of us are perfect, so be patient and kind with each other while we all grow in our walk with God! It means choose to believe your spouse is trying their best and encourage them when they pray.

This is what we were talking about earlier when we compared unified prayer to a tennis doubles team practicing daily. When we make the effort to get ourselves unified in the small things like daily prayer, trials are so much easier to overcome!

If you and your spouse have had challenges with prayer together, don’t be discouraged. Just start by thanking God together each day for the good things He has done in your life and in the lives of those around you. Focus on God’s goodness!