Doing things God’s way isn’t always easy. Anything worth having requires effort! During hard times, remember this great quote from Charles Kettering: “No one would have crossed the ocean if he could have gotten off the ship in the storm.” This is also true with marriage. If we give up when things are the worst, we will never be able to experience God’s best. A rainbow comes after the storm, not before it.
It’s often in the early years that many couples face their biggest challenges. Studies show most divorces take place within the first seven years of a marriage. The wedding is joyous, but then the challenges of life in a crazy world show up and people have to daily make the choice, “…as for me and my house we will serve the Lord” (Joshua 24:15). Many couples happily married over thirty years have told us the toughest years were in the first half, but they are thankful they worked it out. They wouldn’t have had all the joyous years together if they had not persevered and worked through those early challenges!
Studies have shown couples who choose to stay together and work out their problems are more often happier than those who choose divorce. One article stated, “Researchers also found that two-thirds of unhappily married spouses who stayed married reported that their marriages were happy five years later. In addition, the most unhappy marriages reported the most dramatic turnarounds: among those who rated their marriages as very unhappy, almost eight out of 10 who avoided divorce were happily married five years later.” Research also showed “Divorce did not typically reduce symptoms of depression, raise self-esteem, or increase a sense of mastery. This was true even after controlling for race, age, gender, and income. Even unhappy spouses who had divorced and remarried were no happier on average than those who stayed married.”
To achieve success in life and marriage, it’s essential we learn how to ride out the rough waves. Through challenging times, many couples begin to take their frustrations out on family and associate feelings from life’s disappointments with their spouse or kids. They may be disillusioned with their marriage, thinking the relationship is their main problem. However, in reality, marriage was designed by God to be a haven from life’s challenges. If something seems out of sync, it’s wise to look to those with a strong and long-term marriage who can give us some perspective and direction, rather than just jumping to another ship.
When a couple puts God first and builds a spiritual bond with each other, this is the first step in building a strong relationship that will weather the test of time. When hard times come, we will have a strong foundation that isn’t easily shaken.
A couple can be so spiritually out of touch with God and each other that they don’t even know this important bond is missing in their relationship. Then one day something major happens, and they realize they have lost (or never developed) their spiritual foundation. Once a couple chooses to put God first and build or renew their spiritual bond, God is able to move mightily on their behalf. He can and will establish deeper love and joy, as well as reveal His divine plan and purpose for their relationship together.
I pray this encourages you,
Pastor Shaun
